They say “home is where the heart is” because home should be the place where you feel safe, comfortable, calm…like a big hug in a fluffy blanket every time you walk in the door. But what if its not? What if home raises your anxiety levels?
Thats the position I now find myself in ☹️ I’ve lived in my house for just over 4 years, and in that time the area has changed. What used to be a quiet country lane is now a rat run for the residents of the hundreds of new houses that have been built a stones throw away (and don’t even talk to me about the lorries who are delivering to the new estates!). Blocked ditches and no drains mean that the lane floods, pushing water onto my front garden/driveway every time it rains, to the point where we cant get out of the house to our cars. In the winter I live in a mud bath! The dogs don’t enjoy going for a walk to dice with death on the road (and I worry about them and my husband every morning when they leave the house) and the only walks I go on are the ones that involve a trip in the car to another area.
I’ve got to the point where its dragging me down. I can honestly say I hate living here, and thats not emotionally healthy. I am absolutely sick of the mud and feel totally drained by the situation…not good.
So we’ve decided to move…but…the house was a renovation project, so needs to be finished before we can put it on the market. Yesterday, the final carpet was laid!
There are still a few things to do (some touching up of paint work, some electrical work and a couple of doors need hanging), and then inside will be DONE! The outside, however, is a complete mess and looks like a building site *sighs* I was hoping we could put it on the market at the beginning of March, but now thats looking more like the beginning of May (due to contractors not being able to fit us in).
Although the new carpet gave me a little lift, it also made me realise just how much more work needs to be done, how many more months of anxiety before I get to that big hug in a fluffy blanket. First world problem? Yes…but we all have our limits. We all have our breaking points.
Self care feels more important than ever at the moment, so yesterday I made sure I sat down on the sofa with a latte and my fur babies whilst watching a documentary. It was all I could muster after hoovering up after the carpet fitters lol